


In the coolness, Gods and Buddha, dwell as neighbours

by aria_dc_al_fine



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist, ノラガミ | Noragami
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Crossover, Gen, I haven't decided, M/M, Twincest, Yukio as Shinki, or not?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2549183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aria_dc_al_fine/pseuds/aria_dc_al_fine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yato glared at the group of humans in front of him. "Damn exorcists," he raised his arm and placed it in front of his new Shinki. "Don't ever come near what's mine!"</p><p>"What are you talking about?" Rin turned to Shura. "That's Yu-"</p><p>"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!" Both Shura and Yato shouted at the same time.</p><p>"Wha..." Rin was at a loss.</p><p>The redhead sighed. "Only spirits of dead people can be Shinkis."</p><p>(An Ao no Exorcist x Noragami Crossover whereby Yukio is Yato's new Shinki)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from a Haiku of Masaoka Shiki  
> Only the prologue is a little heavy with Japanese creatures, don't worry.  
> Unlike WL or True to Yourself, this story is chronological and straight forward. No messages behind the plot.

Shura gritted her teeth.

_What a SNAFU._

“Shura-san!” Bibiri shouted from the emergency staircase, where he was firing bullets nonstop at the blobs of eyeballs closing around them. A type of demons they’d never seen before, more abundant than coal tars and twice as vicious. Empty magazines fell on his feet one after another. The knight could see his supply was running thin. “The building won’t last much longer!” He warned her as the ceiling shook for the umpteenth time.

“I know!” Shura slashed at the many _Jourougumo_ [1] facing her, cutting the spiders’ threads before they could completely wrap around her sword and mummify it. The nasty things were tough. “Go round up the exwires and make sure they exit safely!” She ordered him, and dodged the acidic poison spat in her direction.

“Understood!” Just as Bibiri pushed forward and tried to make his way downstairs, where his brother and the rest of his cram school classmates were ushering all the survivors out of the laboratory, _kechibi_ [2] flew in through the cracks on the windows and swamped the place, the fireballs burning every old fabric in sight.

“Damn!” Bibiri threw a holy-water grenade at them, yet he barely made a dent. “What is it about this place?”

Throwing caution to the wind, the bespectacled teen doused himself in the last bottle of holy water he had in his pocket and stormed downstairs. Smart guy.

As soon as Scaredy disappeared round the corner, Shura breathed a little easier.

She faced the nude half women half gigantic spiders in front of her and grinned maniacally, her trusted sword _kusanagi_ [3] wielded firmly in her palms.

“Come, you perverts!” She challenged them.

The _Jourougumo_ screeched at her.

* * *

“This way, please,” Shima kept his arm around the petite lab technician next to him as Izumo led her byakko familiars in clearing the rubbles obstructing the main entrance. A few other researchers and students were cowering behind the two exwires, crying and holding on to each other as chaos unfolded around them.

‘ _Please, come get us!_ ’

Rin snapped and turned his head toward the ceiling. “Suguro! Someone’s still up there!”

“Don’t go!” Suguro shouted at him as he shot his bazooka at the congregating _hyousube_ [4]. The little bastards were quick-footed, and the sure death that would befell humans if they gazed into the creatures’ eyes meant Suguro couldn’t aim properly. “Kirigakure-sensei and Okumura-sensei are upstairs! Let them rescue him!”

“Hyaa!” Shiemi exclaimed as the small army barreled against the barrier of branches Ni-chan had erected around the exwires.

Suguro gritted his teeth. “Koneko, not yet?”

The bald-headed Aria in-training shook his head as his mouth never stopped chanting.

‘ _Please! Don’t abandon us!’_

Rin looked up again.

“B-but they’re not reaching him! I can’t just leave him alone!” He jumped on the fallen furniture and climbed up to the second level. “I’ll go check it out!”

A vein pulsed on Suguro’s temple. “Okumura!” he yelled after the half-demon.

Rin continued climbing to the third floor, glaring down any demons that dared to cross his path (and if they didn’t back down, there was Kurikara) and following his ears till he reached the middle of the building on the highest floor. Pasted on the ridge beam was a shape like two fans brought together, five long tails of blue, yellow, red, black and white trailing to the ground.

It glowed when Rin picked it up, and soon the one who stood before him wasn’t a decoration, but a small boy the height of Rin’s waist, dressed in the ceremonial robes of an Onmyouji [5], his long hair tied to a high ponytail.

He reminded Rin of Usamaru.

The boy looked at him grimly. ‘ _This way.’_

He pointed at the room next door. Rin quickly went there, and spotted a cabinet which had collapsed at a corner. From where he stood, Rin could see a leg trapped under the stacks of books and broken wood. Muffled pleas came from beneath.

A young bespectacled man in a lab coat stared at Rin incredulously as the exwire used his superhuman strength to heave the cabinet out of the way. “Ah-” his eyes glossed over with tears as relief filled his expression. “Thank you so much! Thank-”

Rin was sorry to interrupt the moment by pouring a bottle of holy water over the survivor. Each of the exwires was handed one before the mission, but Rin didn’t need it. “Sorry, but we don’t have time,” Rin turned to the small boy in the ceremonial robes as he helped the older man to his feet. “You’re a protective spirit, aren’t you? Accompany him downstairs?”

The spirit smiled at him. ‘ _Thank you, prince_.’

Rin blinked as the two of them disappeared down the hole on the floor Rin came from. “I’m not-”

But he didn’t get to finish his sentence.

Because there was a loud crack from his left, and out of the tear on the wall, monsters emerged.

* * *

“Suguro-kun!” Shiemi gasped. Her face was pale from having too much of her powers drained in the fight. “Look out!”

Suguro turned around, and spotted a blob of eyeball and sharp teeth charging at him, all too late.

Suguro shut his eyes, anticipating the impact, but suddenly there was a loud bang, the sound waves rattling his chest.

The Kyoto-born re-opened his eyes to find the young teacher running toward them, a barrel of his pistols pointed at Suguro’s face. Okumura-sensei had saved him.

The sharpshooter rushed to the exwires, dispelling the demons that had gathered around Konekomaru and Shiemi. He looked around. “Where’s Nii-san?”

Suguro gritted his teeth. “He went upstairs through there,” he pointed at an opening in the ceiling, “he said he heard someone calling from above.”

Okumura-sensei was, expectedly, pissed. He refilled his gun with a fully loaded magazine. His last, judging from the emptiness of the bag around his waist. “Go after Shima-san and Kamiki-san and get out with the survivors! I’ll take care of Nii-san,” he instructed.

“But!” Suguro protested. He’d ran out of bazooka bullets, too, but his chants didn’t have a limited supply. As long as he could speak, he was fine. Okumura-sensei, however…

“This is an order from Shura-san!” The Middle First class exorcist put his foot down. “Follow your captain’s words, exwire!”

“Yes!” Suguro replied reflexively, and grabbed his friends, letting the blonde girl lean on him before she fainted. ‘ _Stay safe, young teacher!’_ he thought as he gave that retreating back one last look.

He didn’t have a good feeling about this.

* * *

“Back off!” Rin growled, his eyes flashing in blue flames, “go away, you damn monsters!” he swung his sword at them.

One of the gigantic half women half insects only hissed at him. ‘ _We are kin of Beelzebub, you wet-behind-the-ears royalty!’_ She shot sharp threads out of her mouth, cutting Rin’s skin on the arms. ‘ _We aren’t yours to order around!’_ Before Rin had realized it, the spider-webs had entirely covered Kurikara’s blade.

“Shit!” Rin tried to burn the binding by exerting his flames on the sword, but his efforts weren’t that effective.

While his eyes were averted from his opponents, they had closed around him. Deformed hands reached for him, and Rin raised his dulled weapon to hit them, but it was too late.

His chest _burned_ when sharp knife-like claws pierced his skin and embedded into the flesh between his ribcage. Rin choked as blood surged out of his throat, clogging his breathing pipe.

 _‘They…must have gotten my lungs,’_ Rin could only think in a daze as he fell to the floor, blood flowing out to the broken tiles. His wounds weren’t healing. ‘ _Why…’_ his sight of the demons bending over him, jaws opened wide, started to blur.

“Nii-san!” Gunshots rang in the air. The half-spiders must have been hit, because a loud shriek tore through the air, high pitched and filled with vengeance. “H-how dare you-” the monsters turned to the door and hissed.

Rin raised his head sluggishly, his mind filling with dread as he saw the spiders going after his brother. It didn’t seem like the bullets had done their opponents much harm. “Y-yukio!” With the last vestiges of his strength, he threw Kurikara at the half-woman who was charging at the four eyes from his back.

‘ _Persistent brat!’_ The monster who had her head smacked by his sword bared her menacing mandibles at Rin. ‘ _I’ll get rid of you! I’ll eat you!’_ She crawled toward him with her eight feet in an alarming speed.

Rin scrunched his eyes closed. ‘ _I don’t want to die before I defeat Satan-’_

“NII-SAN!”

Something warm splashed Rin’s face.

 _No._ Rin looked up in trepidation, his heart stuck in his throat. _NO!_

He was greeted by his worst nightmare: Yukio trapped in the clutches of the demon’s jaws, blood soaking his black coat and dripping down his limp arms.

Rin screamed.

TBC

We'll see Yukio again next chapter, I promise!

Review please?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jor%C5%8Dgumo  
> 2\. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kechibi  
> 3\. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kusanagi  
> 4\. http://io9.com/14-terrifying-japanese-monsters-myths-and-spirits-1498740680  
> 5\. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onmy%C5%8Dd%C5%8D  
> 


	2. Wakened by pain/from a dream of pain/I wipe the sweat/and rose petals/scatter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is another haiku by Masaoka Shiki

"NII-SAN!"

Shura cursed.

"Serpent fangs!" Shura sent the bitches in front of her flying and quickly rushed to the top floor, where Bibiri's voice originated from. She didn't give a damn that her back was shown to her enemies. ' _Shitty_   _brat, wasn't he supposed to have left?'_

' _Oi, oi…this is Okumura Rin we're talking about._ '

Her inner dialogue just depressed her.

"YUKIO!"

The animalistic sound made Shura shudder and the hairs on the back of her neck stand. She prayed so, so hard that nothing had happened.

( _Who was she kidding?_ )

The moment the knight stepped foot on the top floor, she knew her wish wasn't fulfilled.

Broken bricks all over the place. The thick, cloying, familiar scent of iron.

The two brothers entered her line of view the moment she turned around a corner of the hallways, and Shura drew a sharp breath.

_Fuck._

"YUKIOO!"

Bibiri was a lifeless doll in a huge whore-spider's jaws, the angles of his limbs  _unnatural,_ Rin was a mess on the floor, his body curled inward. The pool of blood he was lying in was  _disquieting_. The torn fabrics around his torso were sticky yellow with  _Jorougumo_ 's venom. Yet, his gaze was full of life, and  _hatred_.

"RETURN MY BROTHER!" the half-demon shouted, one hand reaching out, his whole body lit up in blue flames. They shot out in every direction uncontrollably.

Shura swore under her breath. "Don't!" Crap, they were too far! "This lab is full of combustible chemicals! RIN!"

Just as she managed to reach the end of the corridor where  _Shirou's effing foster sons_  were, an explosion went off near them.

Shura and Rin were thrown off the building as walls were blown off. The spider was nowhere to be seen. Frankly, Shura couldn't spare a thought on the spider; it took her her all to grab Rin in midair and wave  _kusanagi_ at the ground to gather enough wind resistance to cushion their fall.

"Yukio!" The brat struggled in her grasp. "Let me go! Yukio's still-"

Shura dug her nails into his sweater. " _Jorougumo_ 's poison is deadly! You can lose your life too if your injuries aren't treated right away!" she spat to his face as they landed, wincing as her knees bore the brunt of the force. She couldn't help but let him drop as she, too, tumbled to her side on the cold, frozen winter earth.

Still, Rin crawled to the crumpling building, chunks of concrete catching fire. "H-he's my o-only-" he choked, and blood gushed out of his mouth as tears flooded his eyes. Even as he couldn't seem to breathe, he ploughed on. "I-I have t-to-"

Shura couldn't help it. She whacked the back of his head with the flat of her palm.

"You idiot!" Her chest felt tight. She'd told herself to stop feeling attached to anyone, but this was Bibiri.  _Bibiri_. "Yukio died to protect you! Don't waste his sacrifice!"

Rin flinched, and glared at her. "Don't say he's dead! He's not-" His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he fell unconscious.

Profanities filled Shura's head. "MORIYAMA! SUGURO!" She bellowed at the top of her lungs. "MIWA! YEH EXWIRES, GET YER ARSES HERE!"

_What a clusterfuck._

* * *

Yato gritted his teeth, and glared in the direction of the man standing behind the masked creatures flitting about in his sight. "Give Yukine back to me!" He demanded.

Fujisaki blatantly flashed the God he'd borne with a wish, long, long ago, a silly smile. "What if I don't want to?" he taunted, "Can you take him back by force, now that you have no Shinki?"

Yato's blood boil. "You-"

Fujisaki's grin turned malicious. He snapped his fingers, and instantaneously, his army of monsters obeyed him, baring their canines and claws against Yato as they targeted him.

The God flipped through the air and jumped from one rooftop to another, buying himself time. He didn't believe Father would kill him off; no, the damn sadist would just be toying with him.

A sharp ache pierced Yato's nape, and he missed his footing from the electric pole he was about to land on.

' _Yukine!'_ The pain from the 12-m plummet to the road didn't even register in Yato's mind. It had been close to  _weeks_  since the teenage spirit last blighted him. Yukine had become much better at managing his emotions. Which meant…

_Nora must be toying with him._

Yato clenched his fists till his knuckles were white.

_No time to waste._

He needed a new Shinki.

Yukine would be hurt; Yato knew the boy derive his pride and joy from being Yato's  _only_ , but the reformed God of Calamity would rather have Yukine glower at him  _at his side_  than fret about his Shinki's sanity and fear if Yukine would be made a stray against his will, or Yato would feel the pain of the disappearance of Yukine's name.

Now, if only he could  _conveniently_  stumble upon an untainted spirit…and not just any spirit, but a strong one…

"Yato!" Hiyori appeared out of the blue, her tail wagging behind her as he dodged a feral fox ayakashi. "I heard Yukine-kun's kidnapped-"

"Stay far away!" Yato shouted at her. Father's underlings were  _way_  more dangerous than the regular ayakashi that came into being from humans' negativity. And speaking of the man, now that Hiyori was here…

Yato turned and checked.

_Yep, the arsehole is gone._

Still, there were dozens of his creations to finish off.

' _Where may you be, uncorrupted spirits, where may you be…_ ' Yato frowned as he led those nuisance on a wild-goose chase, spraying them with his supply of blessed water when they came close enough. Still, he had a limited supply. As he ran, the sky began to split open and shed tears of snow crystals. ' _Please, appear before me-_ ' Yato wished fervently as he passed the ruins of a building.

And there, he saw it.

' _Another brat,'_  was Yato's first thought. What was it with him and spirits of boys at a difficult age? Why couldn't Yato have found a nice, adoring girl…

( _On the other hand, Tomone and Sakura-_ ) [1]

If Yato had his hands free, he would have slapped himself on the face like Hiyori did, once, just to keep himself tethered to what was important.

' _There is no choice,'_ Yato convinced himself.

"Yato!" Hiyori tried to get closer to him again, "please let me help!"

"I said, stay away!" Yato reinforced without glancing at her. He disarmed a group of masked ayakashi by kicking them on the face, before approaching the spirit hovering near the abandoned papers and ash-covered books whose spines had split from the catastrophe that had befell the facility. It looked like a puff of air, so transparent and fragile.

"You, with nowhere to go and nowhere to return…" the God pointed two fingers at the spirit, light glowing on the tips, "I grant you a place to belong. My name is Yato," sky-blue cat-like eyes shone luminously, "Bearing a posthumous name, you shall remain here. With this name, I make thee my servant."

His fingers began to move, forming the word '理' [2]. 'Ri' for logic, for reason. "With this name, and its alternate, I use my life to make thee a Regalia!"

"Thou art Masane! As a Shinki, Ri! Come," Yato flung the name at the spirit and opened his right hand, "Riki!"

"Ah!" Hiyori shielded her eyes as a blinding white light soared through the cloudy sky and chased away shadows with the intensity of its brightness. It was a déjà vu of a scene she'd seen a year ago, the snowy night Yato named Yukine.

As the spirit turned into a weapon in his grip, memories flashed through Yato's mind: the tall figure of a grinning priest, a brother he grew up with, the brother who had protected him, then battles, studies, battles, studies, battles, monsters at the end of the barrels of his guns, losing his father, his brother burning in blue flames, and a demise in the clutches of a predator.

Yato gasped as the newsreel ended.

' _Egin Yukio, I accept your name as my greatest secret._ ' [3]

( _What a spirit seasoned in fighting, you are._ )

The God looked down, expecting Riki to have materialized as a sword – because his Regalias had mostly been blades of various lengths – yet he was surprised again to find a semi-automatic pistol in his hand, and a pair of digital glasses around his eyes.

' _Two functions at once!?_ '

"You jersey-God!" His thoughts were interrupted by Hiyori, "what are you doing, acquiring a new Shinki!? Yukine-kun will be so heartbroken!"

' _An enemy is lurking at your nine o'clock,'_ a voice spoke to Yato's ears.

The God turned sharply, and true enough, an ayakashi was skulking behind Hiyori's back. Yato raised the gun, and shot it down.

"Hyaa!" the long-haired girl ducked, before she scowled at him. "Listen!"

The God slipped an arm around his patron. "Hold on tight!"

' _Three o'clock, 200 meters,_ ' the voice informed him.

' _This navigation ability…is synonymous to Kazuma's? That nympho Goddess has it good!'_  Yato couldn't help but think as he took down a masked creature from a distance. He was beginning to rethink his preference for a katana, as well.

"Yato!" His baggage pounded her fists on his head. "I said-"

"Argh, don't distract me!" The God pouted at the half-Phantom while firing two bullets at the octopus-like creatures spreading their tentacles around him. Father was sure imaginative. "How could I retrieve Yukine without a weapon?"

Hiyori inhaled sharply in exasperation and opened her mouth wide, but didn't know what to say. Should she scold this wayward deity for thinking of his new Shinki a tool, a means to an end, again? Or should she berate him for heedlessly entering into a bond with another  _person_  he had to care for when he was still sponging off Kofuku and already had Yukine-kun-

"There you go," Yato deposited her on a rooftop before facing the largest monster of them all, a three-headed hound of hell, each fang so huge they could chew the God's head off in one bite.

'… _In the eyes,_ ' as Yato thought of how to bring the giant down, his Regalia suggested, ' _Six shots._ ' The voice sounded confident.

The God smirked, and brought two fingers onto the barrel of his modern firearm. "You who would desecrate this land of rising Sun," he bestowed the bullets with his powers, "With my advent, I, the Yato God…" He aimed at them, "…lay waste with Riki, and expel thy vast defilement! Fire!" Yato pulled the trigger six times, following the cues in his head and targets drawn in his line of view so clearly any novice wouldn't have missed them.

The ayakashi scattered into a mass of kanji, glowing golden in the grey backdrop of the sleeping town, before dispersin into pieces of light fleeing to all corners of the scenery.

"Yato!" Hiyori put her foot down as she landed next to the God who was standing still on top of a two-storey old apartment. Hiyori was this close to growling. "Stop ignoring me!"

Yato suddenly clutched the back of his neck and gnashed his molars together like he was enduring great pain. Hiyori was instantly alarmed. "Is it Yukine-kun!?"

"…I swear I'll get him back soon," Yato turned and proceeded to walk to the railing, presumably to jump to the ground.

"Wait!" Hiyori wrapped her fingers around his wrist in a tight grip. She wasn't going to let herself be left behind again. "That's not the direction of Kofuku's home!"

"I'm going to continue looking for him!" Yato barked at her. "Gods don't need sleep!"

Hiyori knew Yato must be frustrated (she knew how  _much_  he cared about Yukine) but… "Are you going to stay out the whole night!? In this weather? Even with a new Shinki to look after?" Her breath fogged in the sub-zero temperature. [4]

Yato sighed. "Masane," he stated.

The spirit that appeared before Hiyori in a white yukata was another teenage boy, slightly older than Yukine. He was probably her age. Tall, so tall, and thin, with teal irises and short dark brown hair, the maroon insignia of his name on the left juncture of his neck and shoulder peeking out of his stiff collar. His most distinctive feature was the two moles under his eyes, and one near his chin.

His reaction to the cold, the trembling and clutching of his arms as his teeth clacked, reminded Hiyori sharply of Yukine her heart went out for him.

The God thrust his jersey at the taller male. "Here," Yato's actions too, were reminiscent of how he first greeted Yukine, though the welcome words he'd bestowed the blonde Regalia were absent. "Go follow Hiyori home. I'll call you when I need you. Don't you dare think unbecoming thoughts! As your master, we share one body and one mind."

Hiyori watched as the Shinki – Masane…-san [5] – stare at the jersey, expecting him to reject the piece of clothing, too. No normal teenage boys would be caught dead in that jersey. Yato's sense of fashion was highly questionable, after all.

But the girl, and Yato as well, from the widening of his pale blue eyes, were shocked when Masane-san took the jersey graciously. "T-thank you," he bowed his head politely as he clutched the fabric in his arms. "We should stay together…" his tone was resolute even though his eyes were locked on his rapidly soaking tabi, "since you're my master."

Hiyori was speechless for a second time.

Even though Yukine-kun and Masane-san were both teenage boys…

… _they were so different_.

TBC

Review please!

* * *

A/N: Sorry I took a while to update (if you compare to the rate I used to update WL every 1-3 days). Work is...horrible. Very emotionally taxing. And I have difficulty figuring out and portraying Yukio's character as a Shinki - if he didn't have his memories to define him, how would he behave? What is his core personality? That's what I'm struggling with.

Those of you who have read my other stories know I LOVE feedback and exchanging ideas with readers. After reading this chapter, please, please let me know if Shinki!Yukio should be less calm and more confused (closer to the glimpses of child!Yukio we've seen in the anime/manga, the boy who hadn't become who he was at fifteen after being haunted by the worry of losing Rin), or reversely if he should be more self-assured because he wasn't comparing himself to Shirou and Rin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. English scanlations of Noragami are available up to chapter 45…but I read chapter 46 and 47 in Japanese already. There, Yaboku's second Shinki, Sakura, was introduced.
> 
> 2\. I considered the word 'need' may be more apt than 'logic' for Yukio's role to Yato, but the kanji for 'need', '要' (read 'Yao' in onyomi and 'Kaname' or 'Toshi' in kunyomi) also means 'pivotal' or 'essential', which will hurt Yukine further, and another kanji for 'need', '需' (read 'Jyu' in onyomi and has no kunyomi) looks too similar to the kanji for 'Yuki', 雪, which I don't want, for reasons stated in note no.3. I have to think of a name that can end in 'ne' as well, so Masane/Riki came about. 'Masane' is a gender-neutral name. '理' can be read 'Aya' as a name as well, but 'Ayane' is a girl's name.
> 
> The traditional form of ‘Ri’ can be found here: http://www.chineseetymology.org/CharacterEtymology.aspx?submitButton1=Etymology&characterInput=理
> 
> L13965 would be the symbol written on Yukio’s (sorry, Masane’s) skin.
> 
> 3\. As mentioned in note 1, I read chapter 47 already, and it revealed that Shinkis that get to know their previous names in life 'cannot be saved anymore'. I just found out after uploading the prologue as well (that's why I changed the summary). It's going to be a challenge going through the whole story without having Rin call his lil bro 'Yukio'. Well, a saving grace seems to be the Shinki has to discover his full name…and Okumura isn't the twins' true surname. Come to think of it, Yuri Egin might not have named her sons 'Rin' and 'Yukio' at all.
> 
> 4\. Only after I started writing a Noragami story I started thinking of the logistics of Shinki. Could a Shinki in his weapon/tool form feel human needs? Why didn't Yato just turn Yukine to Sekki whenever he felt scared/cold/hungry?
> 
> 5\. Hiyori is under no obligation to call Masane respectfully since they look the same age, but she feels he suits '-san' honorific better than '-kun'.


	3. The man/I used to meet in the mirror/is no more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a haiku by Masaoka Shiki (again).  
> This chapter is dedicated to my paternal grandmother, who passed away on Friday 6 November 2014 evening. For as long as I could remember, you were always patient, always kind. An epitome of feminine grace, you were quietly strong even when grandfather was not always a model husband. Papa loves you greatly. You had raised three children, two grandchildren, a great grandchild and many cats and dogs. A true caretaker in life, I wish you will be well cared for in heaven.

The man/I used to meet in the mirror/is no more.

Now I see a wasted face.

It dribbles tears.

* * *

Rin was shaking like a leaf.

"Today, we are gathered here in the memory of Okumura Yukio," Sir Mephisto Pheles addressed the congregation inside the quaint monastery at a district of Tokyo, the church once led by former Paladin Fujimoto Shirou. The childhood home of the person they were mourning. For once, the clown-like demon was solemn. "A brave and brilliant exorcist I had the privilege to work with. He was highly talented and hardworking. Many had had their lives saved or enriched by the depth of his knowledge," Mephisto took off his hat and bowed his head for a while. "We offer this service for you."

The Principal of True Cross Academy and Japan Branch Head of the True Cross Order stepped off the podium and gave way to Rin.

The half-demon stepped up unsteadily. "…My…" he spoke to the microphone without looking up. His voice was rough and brittle, like it could crumble at the slightest touch. "…M-my brother-" he drew a sharp breath. And choked out a sob.

Konekomaru clutched the wool of his trousers tightly. His heart went for his friend as Rin broke down. "…Okumura-kun…"

A couple of minutes passed, and Bon rose to his feet. "Come, Koneko," he told the shorter teen. It was clear Okumura-kun wouldn't be able to continue. They shouldn't just stand around and watch him!

"Eh?" the bespectacled boy was too shocked to react.

It was Shiemi who followed the Kyoto-born, and pulled Rin down from the platform. She enveloped him into her arms at a corner of the chancel [1] as Bon took up the podium instead.

The tall young man who had his bangs combed neatly to the side today cleared his throat. "I had the privilege of knowing Okumura-sensei as both his classmate and his student," he said in a clear, strong voice. "A thoughtful and reliable person, he had never turned down my requests for explanations. His guidance on the field are precious to me." He leaned forward with both hands on the dais, and recited:

" _There we did begin,_

_cloistered in the waterfall,_

_our summer discipline."_  [2]

Bon paused and gulped. Shiemi, who observed as she patted her friend's back, found it reassuring because now she knew that he too, found this speech difficult to say. They waited until resolve re-entered those fierce eyes. "Although our time together had been regretfully short, young teacher, and it is a tragedy for this world to have lost someone like you so soon, I am extremely grateful to have known you. You have taught me what it means to be dedicated. Your teachings are engraved in my mind. I won't forget you," the monk's son promised.

Shiemi couldn't help but tear up.  _He'd verbalized what I wanted to say better than I ever could,_ she thought. "Suguro-kun!" Before the tall teen could walk back down the aisle he came from, Shiemi pulled him and passed Rin's trembling form to Bon, who was too flabbergasted to refuse. By the time the Kyoto-born came to his senses, Shiemi was already on the podium, and Konekomaru had come to his rescue.

"Y-yuki-chan is-" the blonde girl mustered her courage, and faltered, "O-oku-" she was about to correct herself, but changed her mind. He  _was_  Yuki-chan, to her. "Yuki-chan is," Shiemi repeated more firmly, "an irreplaceable existence. He'd helped me open my world. He'd never faltered in his support. He'd given me his time without a second thought to tutor me, even though he was so busy. Without him, I couldn't have enrolled in the True Cross Academy. I wouldn't have made friends. I owe him  _so_ much _-"_  Her voice caught in her throat. Her sight blurred. "Y-yuki-chan," it felt  _so_  hard to breathe. But she ploughed on. "The three-way dance during the festival was fun. The conversations in the shop were fun. I can't say thank you enough. Thank you for being born. Thank you for your impact in my life. I am indebted to you."

Shiemi almost slipped down the steps as she returned to her classmates, her sight blocked by the tears that seemed like they would never end.

Kirigakure-sensei took up the podium not long after the green-eyed girl vacated it. The woman who had her black coat fully buttoned stood there for a while, not saying anything, her face shadowed by her bangs. Eventually, she clucked her tongue.

" _Bibiri!_ " she grunted, sounding  _angry_. "The hell yer doing!? Young people aren't supposed to die before their elders!" The vermilion-haired woman narrowed her eyes, before she stormed off.

A steady stream of people shared a piece of the Okumura Yukio they had encountered with the audience: Paku ("He was so cool…when he treated my wounds, I thought, 'what an admirable guy'."), Izumo, Konekomaru, Shima ("He said, 'don't forget there's a teacher here.' So serious, eh!"), fellow teachers at the cram school, exorcist colleagues and so on.

After each eulogy, Rin just appeared to have shrunk smaller and smaller under the palm Shiemi kept on his back.

Eventually, a full minute passed before anyone walked to the stage.

"Rin…" Shiemi tried to persuade him again. "The Principal will close the service soon…"

The half-demon didn't budge.

"What a coward," Izumo sighed loudly.

Paku nudged her. "Izumo-chan…"

"You'll regret it if you don't say anything," Izumo grabbed him by the lapel of his blazer, and literally dragged the messy-haired boy and pushed him to the podium.

"Ah-" Rin's eyes met those of his audience, and he froze like a deer caught in the headlights.

Four men approached him from his back, and supported him.

"Yukio-kun started wearing glasses when he was four," Kyodo started, "He'd loved reading since he'd memorized hiragana."

"Yukio-kun was an incredibly adorable child," Maruta nodded enthusiastically. "He tagged along Rin-kun whenever he went, always incredibly happy to be with his Nii-san."

"Yukio-kun started learning first aid at six," Izumi picked up the thread. "The first time he patched Rin-kun's injuries, Rin-kun's hand looked like it had been mummified!"

"Youngest exorcist, genius son of Paladin Fujimoto, he was often called. Off missions, he was an ordinary teenage boy," Nagamoto smiled. "He secretly liked reading Jump Square and gag mangas to unwind. He was popular with girls but was awkward around them…"

"Tell me about it…" Rin couldn't help but snort, lost in the memories. "They never see how scary he can be. He smacks me with a slipper all the time…He is so neat and organized, he always shoves a schedule on my face, but he himself forgets to sleep in his bed or eat on time…I cook a lot of seafood, especially sashimi, just so he will eat because they are his favourite foods." Rin's lips finally, finally curved upward. "Yukio was a crybaby as a toddler…but he's-" Rin stopped dead. "…He'd grown so strong," he changed his grammar.

The mood turned south again.

The four priests looked at each other. "Rin-kun…" one of them said concernedly.

Rin bent his head. "…Yukio was the good twin. He was so smart, so kind, such a  _good_  boy. He would have been a successful doctor-"

"But he won't ever be," Someone rose to her feet amongst the congregation and cut in. She was a teenage girl wearing a frilly short skirt under her uniform black coat, her curly shoulder-length hair tied to a high ponytail with a striped ribbon [3]. Her eyes were flashing with fury and glossy with grief. "I'm sure it's your fault!" she screamed in a high pitch. "Okumura-kun was always,  _always_  careful in missions! He'd always follow protocols! He wasn't like you who always barge into danger headfirst!"

"Hey, Shizu-" one of the older exorcists seized her forearm.

"He must have forcibly pushed himself to save you!" But the girl couldn't seem to stop. "He was human, not a freaky, indestructible demon like you!" [4]

Rin flinched, and didn't argue. He just stood there and took everything she dished out.

"Yes, stop it right there!" Mephisto took over the podium again, "I'll not have this turn into a blaming-fest. Reverend Nagamoto, if you could end with the rest of the funeral rites," he signaled one of his subordinates to have the girl removed.

"I only spoke the truth!" She was screaming and kicking all the while.

"Don't mind her, Okumura-kun," Tsubaki-sensei told the exwire gang as they proceeded to the backyard, where Yukio's tombstone had been placed next to Fujimoto Shirou's. "She had a huge crush on Okumura-kun. Obsessed, one could say."

Yunokawa-sensei sighed. "An exorcist…is a dangerous occupation," the man pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Anyone can die anytime. We're all prepared."

All of the black-coated men and women within hearing distance lowered their heads.

Snow poured around them, covering mud in white.

"…She was right," Rin clenched his fists till his knuckles. "Yukio's…death…was my fault. He'd said, again and again, to follow instructions, but I always selfishly decide my own actions-" his voice sounded wet. Small circles formed near the soles of his boots, snow melted by the heat of the salty water dripping from his chin.

Shiemi slipped her hand into Rin's, holding him so tight the wool of her mitten burn against his naked skin. "But you've saved so many with your decisions, Rin," she reminded him, "the souls in the phantom train, the student and the Heigushi [5]-"

"WHAT GOOD DID IT DO IF HE DIED IN THEIR STEAD!?" Rin exploded. "I literally KILLED him-"

"Sshh," unexpectedly, Izumo wrapped her arms around Rin. This was the first time she had voluntarily consoled anyone. Everyone looked surprised. "It's a survivor's guilt. I understand. You remember what happened to my mom," her voice steeled when he looked like he was about to argue. "We can't change what's happened. We can only move on. I'm sure Okumura-sensei wanted you to live on happily."

The lines on Rin's expression wavered and contorted as he bawled. "H-he just turned sixteen! First, the old man, and now-"

"Sshh, let it out." Rin pressed his face to the miko's daughter's collarbone so hard, but Izumo welcomed it. "Let it all go," she whispered soothingly.

And the grave with the empty casket bore witness to the drama unfolding under the dreary sky.

TBC

Please review...and sorry for the sob-fest. The state of my heart is equally grey. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The chancel is the front part of the church from which the service is conducted, as distinct from the nave, where the congregation sits. The chancel is usually an elevated platform, usually three steps up from the nave.
> 
> 2\. Bon's poem is Matsuo Basho's.
> 
> 3\. She is the girl in the background of chapter 22 page 26, the group Yukio chased Toudou with to retrieve the left eye of the Impure King stolen. Shizu is a made-up name (I don't think she was introduced in the manga).
> 
> 4\. Sometimes, I don't get why Yukio is 'scaredy'. I get that the motivation for a lot of his actions is fear, but I support his tendency to follow protocols. Exorcism is almost always a team effort; there is a game plan to follow. Exorcists are like the military, where everyone's general role should be defined. What Rin's doing is actually very dangerous to the team.
> 
> 5\. Heigushi are decorations affixed to a building's ridge beam in a ceremony on the day of the framework's completion, in order to pray for good fortune and ward off bad luck for the house's family. It is made by attaching zig-zag strips of gold, silver, white or multicolored (five-color) paper to a staff made of bamboo or other wood.


End file.
